Thursday, November 23, 2006

help!! !

there are times when life just turns you upside down and shakes you around a lot ............. for me this is what a the week before ttom is, I want to be happy I have been achieving stuff, my house is tidy, I have the bits required to get my bike going again, we just got ome more fruit trees which seem to be settling in well and we are going sailing on saturday ................ all I want to do is curl up and cry until nothing else comes out or go to bed and stay there for at least the rest of the year maybe the next ten years ........... and before anyone starts, no I am not going to see a doc there are 2 things they will do, 1 will be counselling which I have be there done that, I rather go for a coffee with a friend who knows me, or they'll want to give me drugs of some sort which will result in another pill that I will have to remember for the rest of my life, if it waqsn't for the conveniance factor I wouldn't be taking the one pill I do take.

An old friend I grew up with got engaged earlier this week mum keep trying to get some glimps of excitement or intrest out of me
.... very short version of events which mum dosen't know and wouldn't understand, dad does gee hes good when it comes to stuff like this............

  • XBF proposed several times to which I replied I eould think about it eventually agreeing he promised we would marry at the end of my apprenticship,
  • a month later he broke up with me saying he would always be there for me ( what a way to lead a girl on me thinking we were just having a short break),
  • three months later he engaged his now wife
  • they married two weeks after I completed my apprenticship
ever since then, I cant stand movies about weddings and it rips me apart every time some one around me gets engaged
As I said dad understands where these feelings come from or at least tries to ......... mum thinks I'm being silly

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