I haveoved

blogger dosen't fit me anymor I am now here

are you clean now ? :-)

we had my baby shower yesterday, lots of fun didn't get bombarded like the sils threatened which is good, saw friends unfortunatey no cameras came out so no pics

we now have plenty of clothes and lots of supplies, I think I have enough wipes to last at least a month even though I was planning on using cloth ones I'll use the throw away ones first then have a go with the cloth ones and back to the throw away ones if I don't like the cloth ones (confusing enough?)

had bad sleep last night may be TMI but I leak, puddles everywhere, I have been told to wear Breast pads to stop the puddles, didn't have the heart to tell the MW that I generally sleep nakey and won't be changing that for a while

we have no food again I'm thinking kebabs would be good, ok so we have got food I just don't feel very creative atm and couldn't be bothered cooking anything probably because I haven't eaten for a while and that is making me feel a little sick

I'd better go and find something to put in my belly

5 days to go

only 5 days till I finish work yaaaay
in 7 days I have a baby shower
5 weeks we might have a baby eek

I have started a new blog at wordpress I am thinking about moving this one over or I may just run with 2 seperate ones for a while. I'd like to have a blog that I don't mind family looking at I think this one has a little too much abrasive stuff for that I know I could clean it up a bit and then it would only be if they happen to go back through the archives that it would be a problem
so fresh slate it is theuy also allow passwording of individual posts which might come in handy

I'm off to find something to eat, the boy is snoozing on the lounge and won't get up so I'm thinking coco pops for dinner

things to do places to go people to see - I don't wanna

Where do I start ... I suppose things to do is a good place,

first thing is the bathroom... its pretty gross..... I can manage to get the stuff off the bath and sink but there is stuff on the shower wall that just won't budgeI want a magic spray of some sort that will fix it with out me putting in too much effort

next will be the kitchen .... I have dishes to do, then the benches and the floor and the table

then there is the lounge room stuff everywhere grrrrr

I just couldn't be bothered

Tonight I am going to panthers with gummibears family her wedding is next week we are having dinner tonight

I have to call mum and find out if I can borrow her car next week and find out some addresses

I'm thinking it can wait till later I went to bed too early yesterday it has made me tired today I should go and put the washing away then I might think about a nap

its a big day

I get up at 430 I get to bed around 930 it is a big day.

I am officially on compo, not that that is seen as a good thing but this fortnight I will be getting paid more than I have for a while because they pay an average so for the moment it is good

I saw a physio yesterday I am going back tomorrow, I can walk normally today so it must do some good I have to see a shoe specialist sometime next week in the search for boots with more support should be interesting, my "injury manager" was reluctasnt to allow it but the saftey man at work showed up some of his lack in knowledge, saftey man looked up my history, I have rolled my left ankle 3 times and right once in the last 8 months, and thats only the ones I reported

I'm tired I'm going to find something light for dinner and go to bed

I can dream

Thought I'd make a list of things I would really like not necessarily in order

• a nice car doesn't have to be new or fancy just nice
• A chest freezer that doesn't lose its lid every time you open it
• A nice fridge preferably plumbed with one of those ice/water dispenser things
• A new house, including bigger kitchen and bathroom
• A laptop and router

a new kitchen toy

the old electric kettle has been banished from the kitchen due to its habit of attracting roaches it has been replaced by this

a small dilema - I want a wheel chair

ok I'm going to get a little distracted - I smell devon, at least I think its devon, it could be butcher rissoles(yum) I have been smelling it all day wish I knew where it was and what it is

Now where was I yes thats right .... Gummibear's bridal shower is on tomorrow...... I looked up where her new house is (gummibear and her DF bought a house Yay!) its on the other side of the next suburb, I looked up 131500 the sydney public transport trip calculator, I can walk 200mtrs then catch 2 busses and walk another 900mtrs :'-( (note to any of the Blogger team out there - I want little yellow smilieys like some forums and email have) thus the wish for wheelchair or even crutches either would make my traveling easier, I can walk to the stop at the end of the street but not almost a Km, I also wish to go to the shop to get a book for gummibear which would mean a bus then shop then train then bus :-S thinking the last bus may be replaced by a taxi or the whole trip replaced by a lift from the boy on the back of his bike :-S I don't like that Idea much

food and exercise again

well it sorta fell apart yesterday but here goes

0630 crossant + blueberry muffin
0830 yoghurt
0840 fell over spraining my ankle and receiving grazes to my knee and elbow
1745 cup a soup hearty spanish tomato flavour wouldn't recomend it)
1830 red rooster tropicana pack + fanta
0030 mug of milo

exercise hobbling to first aid, then to psuedo ambulance then upstairs to see doc then downstair for transport back to work then to office then in front gate at home

today is looking healthier

1030 2 weet bix and milk(despite the boy telling me lunch would be ready in an hour ands I don't want to blow out cause his brother said E never managed to loose her baby weight... seriously E has alot of heath problems and excuses I am not E)
1215 roast lamb and vegies

Plan to add
1615 strawberries + vanilla yoghurt
1830 fried leftover vegies with chicken thigh

exercise hobbled to loo several times, hobbled around the shops for an hour after visiting doc

Off to get those strawberries and yoghurt

I fell over ;'-(

yep clumsy me again fell over at work this time I lost some skin and sprained an ankle.... by the time I leave the place I should have found all of the trip hazard for them

The boy is now pushing even harder for me to finish work in the middle of october instead of the start of november grrrr

I'm going to bed I've had enough of today

hmmm a food and exercise diary

I have been asked by my midwife to fill out a three day food and exercise diary.... it will be dificult not to lie.

today I had
0500 1bowl of porridge
o900 3 biscuits
1230 1 Chicken snitzel swiss cheese and sweet chilli sandwich (silly lady at the shop was supposed to have avacado insted of sweet chilli
1300 fruit salad and yogurt

so far thats it I did about 15 minutes of walking I am thinking tuna and cheese jaffels for dinner even though I really want a Mc Chicken, its too far to walk right now

Finally went shopping

I finally did it I finally got around to shopping, the two SILs offered a while ago but they took too long and didn't contact me oh well I now have some summery clothes that actually fit

mission 1 was to find a dress - nothing fancy just something I don't feel embarrased to wear at the shops or to hang out the washing

mission completed I now have 2 dresses, I may even take the risk of wearing them to work and home again since I catch the train no and all

mission 2 find something to wear to and from work

Mission completed I now have a nice pair of 3/4 pants and a simple skirt and a kaftan style top, I plan to find more in the way of tops

Mission 3 Find an outfit for gummibear's wedding

Mission complete really pretty top and a super comfy black skirt

damage ...... since I don't get paid till thursday I owe dad $300 and I also, owe mastercard an extra $50, not really debts that I wanted but I'll manage, the boys who came to look at the car said they were interested in bidding on it hopefully a few other people will bid too it ends tomorrow if I get 8000 or close I will be very happy because that means that much extra to go on the master card which means we will own our bed very quickly especially with the insurance money back after we sell the ute and the ute repayments going on it and I won't have to worry about any more debts other than the house of course for a long time.... we are considering using the baby bonus or part there of to buy a small car but that won't be until much later, well after baby arrives how will we cope with out a car? probably the same way we did before we got the ute, borrow, hire or use public transport

insert title here

I can't think of any thing that fits..... for that matter I have very little that fits :-S.

But to start on a better feeling I'd like to congratulate Rae and Duane on the birth of Xavier(that is such a great name :-D) and I'd like to thank Tinydonna and Jen for posting the news

Now on to the fit issue, I saw a lovley dress in pumpkin patch I went and looked at it twice it was a little more expensive than I would like but if it fitted I wanted it, when I tried it on I found a very interesting thing has happened my awkward to fit bit has moved .... ok so that bit is not affected by dresses anyway, the awkwardness is in my lower back, I either have a very sticking out bum or a sway back ...... it is now my boobs :-( I tried a Medium and it fit everywhere but the chest I was sorta squished in, I tried a large and it gaped at the chest grrrrrrr so mum and I are going shopping to find something that fits it dosen't have to be fancy just something nicer than my work clothes at te end of the day

I'm getting tired of trying to sell the ute I should have just sold it while the boys bike was broken. this week I have a bloke who sent his brother to look at it and based on what his supposed expert brother said he offered me well below the value or the price I want then agreed to pay my minimum but complained about it being under finance, I told his brother that it was, and didn't trust me to pay the loan out X-( next time he rings I'll tell him I've had a better offer I really don't need tyo deal with people like that, especially when without looking at it someone has placed a bid on e-bay no questions for the minimum price that I will accept and there are 4 watchers I plan to pull ads from elsewere and see what happens

rain rain go away

I'm tired of the rain, for months and months we get half a drop, today we had 3.6mm before 9am and probably that much everyday this week, I can't go for a walk, I can't do the washing, I have no motivation to do any of the other things that I had planned this week. the whole reason that I kept this week is so that I could do things I normally dont have the time or energy for.

tomorrow is a public holiday only in the sydney basin, I'm not impressed, I was planning to go and visit a friends in newcastle then I realised that they don't have a public holiday there.......Grrr

14 weeks to go, which means either 10 or 8 weeks till I stop work depending on how I feel

anyone for silverbeet???

the boy got into my vegie garden today...... grrrr....... he pulled all of the plants out he's planting corn and redesigning the vegie area of the yard so that I can have raised beds :-)

raised beds also mean I can grow ground dewlling and root veggies much more easily, I'm looking forward to giving carrots ago I'd like to grow lettuce and broccolli too I did manage to get some to grow this year (brocolli that is but I didn't pick it so it went to flower, very pretty tiny yellow flowers :-D, I will in the not too distant future be spending quite a bit more time at home so it will be nice to have something to drag me outside in the sunshine

I didn't get around to going to bunnings so no mulch and no cork :-S I did stop by coles on the way home and think I might make lemon slice tonight and maybe carrot cake but i'll probably stick with the slice then bed

exercise is important

I made a big leap again today :-)

I rang the fitness center to find out about aquarobics :-), now that I am on permenant dayshift for a while and I'm not walking around at work so much and I am no longer comfortable walking the dogs on my own (if anyone has seen my physical strength could you please send it back to me I really miss it) I asked mum if she would walk the dogs with me of an afternoon, she has recently develpoed arthur in her ankle (good reason not to wear high heels ever) and cant walk so far anymore especially not with one of our dogs :-( but she suggested aquarobics, hopefully we can get it happening mondays and thursdays or something like that

cootamundra was really nice we are seriously considering moving there if
a) we win lotto/powerball
b)we inherit alot of money or suddenly develop really good budgeting skills.
we went on a bus trip around the town, it surprised me that they have an olympic sized swimming pool, most country towns I have been to only have 25mtr jobbys, they also have alot of sporting grounds and they play every code of football that I know of, not that I'm into football but I don't think we have every code avaliable to us here. Another plus is that we could get a house on twice the block that we have for around half the price thats gotta be a good thing

I'm thinking if its a nice day tomorrow I might attack our somewhat overgrown garden and get a couple of those mulch cubes, the ones where you just add water and there you have a barrow full of mulch while I'm there I'll be looking for cork board material the boy wants to make one wall of the dining room a cork board for all of those important bits of paper

ummm

well..... I've bee away from blogger for a bit ........ dija notice?
I am now working 645 to 315 every day which really sucks, I get up at 430 ok so its more a case of drag my self out of bed and into the shower this gives me lots of time to have a shower.

I have done well this week I'm in training for when I start catching the train to work, to do that I have to be at the bus stop by 530 , I have done well because every day this week I have made lunch the night before and got my work clothes out for the next day and put them on the lounge
I have also managed to have a proper breakfast of some sort
Ok so I have only done 3 days this week , monday was my ADO and I have a Day in lieu tomorrow but on tuesday I had weetbix , wednesday was spagetti on toast and today was baked beans on toast, all accompanied by a glass of orange juice and a mug of milo

I had another appointment on monday, I have been experimenting with cutting out the caffine I only have coffee when I go out or someone else hands me one otherwise its hot choc or milo, it seems to have worked ..... my bp for this appointment was 60/120 :-) the best yet if I can keep doing whatever it is that does that I'll be very happy

I am finding myself very tired latley, not sure if its the 430 start of that I go to bed and the boy gets home but has no Idea why I who normaly hates the door shut has shut the bed room door then comes in and chats for half an hour before going and making himself some dinner

I promised him that I wouldn't go to bed before he got home tonight, but I think I might go and have a nap before he gets home so I don't fall asleep in his lap later, we are going to cootamundra tomorrow they are having an open day on saturday showing off the country lifestyle we may move there one day if we like it

some how my foreman and the depot clerk convinced me to only have 4 weeks off instead of 6 before bubba is due mostly so that I can have more time off after "sigh" that means there are still 10 weeks to go till I stop work for a whil

argggghhhhhhhhhh.........

I need sleep ........ I wake up at 430 with the alarm or earlier, eventually get up and go to work , do boring mundane jobs all day , get home absolutley buggered , sleep for a couple of hours, get up do things around the house, go to bed at arround 930-10, the boy gets home at around 11 and comes in and talks to me for a while then goes about making himself dinner while I try to get back to sleep then he comes to bed and talks some more befor rolling over and snoring his head off while I try to go back to sleep

I know I need to stop that afternoon nap, I also need to ask the boy to not wake me when I'm sleeping, he tried to get me to eat for two but at the moment I really need to sleep for two I left the gates open this morning and the dogs got out and were playing in nextdoor's front yard grrr I got a grumpy sms about it lucky he was home otherwise we may not have found them again

Good bye Olga Jean

I haven't got a photo I will put one here when I find one

Olga Jean, My grandmother, My fathers mother died this morning in westmead hostpital
She fell a couple of weeks ago while out shopping it is beleived that earlier this week she had a mild heart attack possibly due to the pain she was in or the drugs needed to reduce the pain, she had a heart condition and so her heart never recovered

Much loved mother to 4, grandmother to 10 and great grandmother to 16

My bladder is not a punching bag

although someone seems to think so.....

I rang work today to tell them that I think I should look at doing light duties from next week the foreman was in a meeting so will have to talk to him tomorrow grrr

been feeling a little ick latley, mostly at bed time I need to eat better than what I do and I think
sleep less I wake up at around 7 curl back up and go to sleep again and wake up much later feeing really cruddy usually with a headache too which makes it even harder to actually get up tonight, I'm going to mums for dinner which will be a good start to eating better tomorrow I must make myself get up when I wake up and have breakfast, which needs to involve some form of protien I've been very lax with that latley, I need to eat more protien, I expect my blood pressure to be highish again on fridays visit,I also need to buy good yogurt, I got the homebrand strawberry flavour a few weeks ago, there is a reason that it is cheaper than the ski yogurt it just lacks something ........ like flavour

thinking I will take my nappies to mums tonight so that they can have their hot prewashes either tonight or on the weekend ifr I go early I could get started tonight hmmmm

more pics

side

face
feet
3D image

apparently they are a little skeletal at this stage :-)

we got a dvd too ..... very cool

Pics of new(ish) stuff

Ok here it is finally, I still would have done it with a brush, even with 3 coats the slightest bump results in white showing through but it is done and looks nice... next step perhaps some pooh wall decals we will see and other similar things

Mum is on holidays with her best friend they decided this would look good on me
hopefully the boy gets the part for his bike and we can go for a ride and visit them I doubt I'll be able to convince him to go for a 3 hr drive now that he has his licence back

yes jen I will post pics I am starting to get impaitent with the whole thing only 4.5 months to go and no real bump to speak of yet, I put that down to generously proportioned hips :-P which has to be a good thing in this case

fun and games

well I found out that I needed a referal from the DR for the ultrasound, he assured me that the place he is sending me to has very good equipment which means very clear pics OK as long as all is good we are happy no intrest in knowing what its going to be you have gotta save some surprises for later, I always feel sad for people who first want to know what they are having so that they can pick a name and then they have elective C's(too lazy to work out the spelling) so that they can plan for an exact date(there are plenty of other reasons that I can understand including fear and problems with previous births) K's partner wanted this so he could fit it into his busy schedule, I would like to be more organised than I am but I think some things are best played by ear.

I am excited though I have booked the ultrasound for the 18th which for me is too far away, the cot is almost painted the nappies have been packed into a bag ready to go to mums for their first few washes, they need three hot washes to get the hemp absorbent, we only have gravity hot water which means not enough pressure for the machine *sigh* but it gives me an oppourtunity to show mum that they will be just as easy to use as disposables except that they need to be washed, last dinner at pas involved a conversation about nappies both mum and K argued that the soaking and the smell is too much to deal with easy to come back with answers for that one,

*there is no soaking - napisan would ruin all the pretty colours and an eventual build up of chemicals is bad for babys bum

* I have yet to experiance it but one website suggests that the soaking is the cause of the smell the water in the bucket causes the wee to come out of the nappy and float around in the bucket thus the smell, mums on the forums I have found also say that the bucket dosen't smell that bad they throw either a cloth with some lavender oil on it or a few drops in the bottom of the bucket or they sprinkle Bi-Carb in the botom like you do for the smells in the fridge ( I expect smell when opening the bucket though)

*I also through in the $2700 approxemate saving over 2 years which K automaticly assumed a cost issue for us and said she would buy us a box (the savings are a benifit but not a main reason)

they tried the old environmental impact thing (they think disposables and cloth have the same impact) the fact is it costs around $50 a year for the extra washing sun drying is recomended so the dryer will only be used on rainy weeks

the thing that got to me was that mum assured K that when baby come to stay with her he/she will be in disposables, it annoys me that mum would be so unsupportive, I wouldn't leave a baby with anyone for more than a few hours or maybe overnight regardless of type of nappy and when we came home I'd have to deal with a smelly disposable in the garbage, bad if its a monday or tuesday night ... the boy solved that problem for me baby would need changing before coming home

K gives me 12 weeks and I'll be using plastic, she dosen't realise that it took 2 pays to get my stash which cost around $1000 even if I don't like it I will be doing it especially now that she has issued the challenge

we have a tennant

Yep we have a heart beat this time 157 BPM. After the midwife left the first thing the boy said was "F*** that was loud like one of those doof doof cars"

We have decided that we will go for the 18wk ultrasound after all since the boys little brother had a heart defect so its probably a good idea to get that checked out also make sure everything else is all good I have to find out how to book for these things, I have to see the DR anyway so I'll ask then, its a pain I can't get in to the hostpital before august I think thats also a bit rude but I suppose these things happen

food glorious food

well the rocket and olive mash with red wine steak is according to the boy "the best dinner I've had in a long time" so I am planning to create a box or a couple ofd envelopes, with the titles, type, pasta, chicken, meat, fish, international, I plan on doing roast on sundays and a fish meal on saturdays or vice versa , the type envelpoe will have the names of the othe r 5 envelopes in it, I will pull a name out for each day of the week on sunday which will help me decide what to cook for dinner in each of the other envelopes will be a few names of foods that are easy to cook before or after work in the international envelope apart from the obvious encheladas and chicken stirfry will be one that says something new thats when I go looking in my magazine or cook book for something different to make, at the moment everything is new untill I get 3 or 4 things to fit in each box

last night was a twist on mac and cheese which used gnocchi, chicken spinach beans and bacon, it's very tasty I am going to ask mum if I can cook it at dinner with pa next time I'm on dayshift, it serves 8 and its very filling but you could have it with salad too I'm liking this fresh cooking thing I'll have 4 serves of gnocchi cheese frozen thisafternoon ready for work dinners over the next week or so, I'm so glad I'm going back on afternoons for a couple of weeks

is that movement????

I wonder but I think its just wind,

sad me, I think I'm jelous that mum seems more excited about things happening with my bossy cousin, "K heard a heart beat why didn't you", "K's got a bump", "K says its wriggling" seroiusly if I knew K was going to have a baby anywere near mine I would have not bothered till next year now I'm stuck due a week and a half after her, she in a pre pregnancy state meets the requirements of an ironing board, and has trained her body to a point where at one stage she stopped menstruating, and was a high level tri-athlete the reason she is one of the few who at the 12 week appointment heard a heart beat and I didn't is that she has less than a kilo of fat on her entire body where I probably have that just in my tummy area

I've read too much, everything describes movement as feeling like a grumblly tummy, I have a very grumbly tummy, I also have alot of wind which is not all that great either, it smells SHOCK HORROR, mine never smell ok its just everyone else that thinks they do, I agree at the moment



I may have had a break through with the food and better eating thing GTM has arrived again as always full of inspiration and ideas, I sat on the lounge and aked the boy , wht do you think about this, what do you think about that, which of course got the reply "thats all a bit fancy isint it?"

I didn't think red wine steak with rocket mash was too fancy, it's actually quite simple, even more simple if you just have normal grilled, fried or BBQ'd steak.

I suggested that I could box it up for him to take to work the night after I eat it, to which he replied, "that would be great(insert sarcasim) eating something that fancy on my conveyer belt" (apparently the lunch room is too far away and lunch is eaten at the work location in his section) on top of that he doesn't like eating his big meal at wokr it weighs him down, so we agreed that I would make some simple nice dinners and put his on a plate in the fridge so that he can heat it in the oven and eat it for lunch



I'm going food shopping tomorrow, I made my Nutrimetics order today, no I'm not a consultant, I just like the body washes and scrubs especially when they are on special 55% off for one of them (I bought 2), I'm a VIP member but I have to keep and order every 5 months to keep my membership

I think the Idea is thats roughly how long it takes to use a bottle of face wash or moisturiser up and you keep using it and they aren keeping people who don't use the stuff on the books forever



Last night was not so great My whole body was aching especially my back and sides, the boy is some how under the impression that it is caused by bad posture, I usually get a sore upper back from that then stretch it out and I'm good for a day or so, this is all lower back and sides, and whe know what thats from, but he still won't rub my back for me, (will someone please whack him over the head with their hand bag), I am considering going and getting an ultrasound just so that he can see what we are dealing with here, and perhaps something to put in the album, but I don't see the point unless there appears to be something not quite right and the midwife has said that it is not really nessecery for that matter so did mums, and her best friends doctor, they only have an ultrasounmd picture of me because they had to see if the could bring me out early, I am seriously hoping to avoid a similar thing thus the cucumbers and water and calcium tabs plus protien shakes, I think when the tub runs out I'll go to protien bars, the shakes make me feel a little queezy and its hard to take the stuff to work for more than one.

umm well

things didn't quite go as planned, some stupid idiot dropped load of dirt and gravel on the M4 last night just as I was laving work, to keep it simle, the trip from work to the toll booths takes roughly 10-15 minutes, it took me 45 last night, then I stopped at the shop and grabbed some things for stirfry, I have decided that I am either not cooking it right or I just don't like pak choy.
I also picked up some things for encheladas which I was going to make tonight but calendar girl wants to make pork of some sort for DLB she invited me to but on the way home tonight mum invited me for dinner here ......... steak of some sort

I have been eating better though the last two days,

Monday
Breakfast

• Weet Bix with warm milk
• Hot chocolate

morning tea

• two hard boiled eggs
• 1 Bannana

Lunch

• Two Ham tomato and cheese sandwiches
• peach in mango puree fruit snack
• apple

Afternoon tea

• Protien shake

Dinner

• chicken stirfry with hoikenn noodles

Tuesday

Breakfast

• Weet Bix with warm milk
• hot hocolate
• 1 serve vanila yogurt

Morning tea

• Two hard boiled eggs
• apple

Lunch

• two Ham Cheese and tomato sandwiches
• peach fruit snack
• 1 Lebanese cucumber

Afternoon tea

• Protien shake

I'm not sure what's going to be for dinner but I think I'm getting better with what I'm eating,there were a few biscuits and chocoltes in there but I'm not overly worried about them, I'm wondering if cucumber tastes better dipped in something, like maybe cottage cheese or natural yogurt I may investigate these this week, its a little too cold for salad.

I'm soo lazy

yep thats me, lazy as, there is so much to do and so little time and really I just couldn't be bothered doing anything

I should be walking the dogs everyday ------ I'm too tired, its too cold, its too wet, I'm sure I can find something more interesting to do

I should be eating better than what I am ------ It's so hard to decide what to cook, food goes off so quickly, I'm too tired I just want to grab something quick and easy

I should be keeping the house to some degree of tidy -------- there's so much to do and its so hard to decide where to start

that all makes me lazy,
this week I'm back on day shift I plan to get home grab the dogs and go for a walk then come home and spend 15 min either de cluttering/cleaning the spare room or putting away things aroundf the house, after that is to drag something out for dinner. On monday I might go through what we have in the freezer and do some sort of rough menu plan for the week buy any vegies that we need on the way home during the rest of the week, I also need to sit down and write some sort of budget, the boys bike is going to cost at least $2000, when we get it back, hopefully this week.

and life goes on

well I'm over my Flu sorta, the boy seems to have caught it which for me is a good thing, when he is sick is the only time he slows down, and even comes to bed at a reasonable time yaay.

I had my first appointment with the midwife on friday, I feel really good about my choice, unfortunatley we didn't get to hear a heart beat (other than mine) but we should next time, I have to book in to the hostpital as well, so that they have my name, and any tests I need can be done through them. I have slightly high blood pressure which I had expected, mostly because its always slightly high and a little because mum had high blood pressure with me and still has but she said hers has always been much higher than mine is (80 over something or other), anyway, I'm back to a high protien diet, apparently I need 120 grams a day, 1 serve of meat or cheese has around 20 grams so I will be taking a trip to the health food shop tomorrow for some protien powder and calcium tablets, I also need to drink my 2 litres of water and eat cucumbers I'm going to get sick of cucumbers pretty quickly.

things I'd really like to have but can't

• avacado and camenbert toasted sandwich


• bailys on ice


• short black russian (black russian minus the cola)

I have to go and tidy the bedroom now, calendar girl and I moved the tall boy into her room ( the cot will eventually live where the tall boy was) and all of the stuff out of it is all over the room

I am very pleased with this though, I bought the table off eBay for $60 it has a bath built in , the cot also cost $60 but its out in the shed being repainted, I'm sure you'll love the colour when you see it, the thing I am most happy about is that the storage shelves are just the right size to hold all 32 nappies and inserts they were spread over 3 drawers in my tall boy I bought th e nappies from Greenkids.com.au bought them a few months ago, I was on a forum and asked what are good things to buy while you are just starting to try an where most people came back and said get yourself healthy don't worry about buying things atm, one very nice lady came out and said if you plan on using cloth nappies now is a good time to start accumulating them because they can be very expensive, she was right about that, the whole lot cost around $800, it took me 2 pays to get them all, but I'll never have to buy more, unless we had twins.

at the moment all is good, can't wait to get things rolling, I finally told mum, I SMSd her, how bad is that, they asked why I didn't tell them sooner, I reminded them that they kept saying that they don't want grandchildren thay said they were only saying that because they didn't want to pressure us, they didn't realise that they were actually pressuring us in the other direction. I think they didn't realise how much they said it until when dad was talking to my brother and he came straight out and said "I bet mum's pissed" amazing how much you say things you don't nessecerily mean.

bloody viruses

well it had to happen didn't it, it all started with a girl where calendar girl works, deciding it would be funny to sneeze on calender girl, and as much as we don't see her, she caught whatever it is that this girl had (guessing flu) which is obviously something that I have not been vaccinated against or at least not this year anyway (I did get a flu shot at work was unhappy that I missed out on the lolly pops)
so of course I caught it, on Thursday I was aching bones all over, on Friday night I was feeling pretty cruddy falling asleep all over the place, Saturday I woke up stuffed up and clogged in the throat (not happy) Saturday night, the boy was ready to throw me on the back of the bike and take me to the hospital, I decided a very steamy shower would help which it did then the boy made me eat a mandarin and coated my chest and back with chest rub (aka cheap Vick's) and cuddled me to sleep (he really can be sweet sometimes)
yesterday I woke up to a cup of lemsip and was very firmly told to stay in bed which I did other than to shoo the few visitors that dropped by (dad had to borrow the Ute ) and to have another steamy shower, the boy came home when I was in the shower to find the Ute gone, thinking that I had gone out and calendar girl was in the shower, he wasn't impressed until he realised I was still home, he got me some orange juice and insisted that I have a few glasses, I went back to bed and was woken for dinner(chunky spag boll), followed by another mandy and several glasses of juice and back to bed, he wouldn't Vick's me last night just handed me the jar and told me to put a little up each nostril to help me breathe(grr)

now normally I would have taken some night day cold and flu tablets and continued on as normal, and now I know why, I very rarely take any pain relievers or medication except in the case of flu and bad period pain there are some things that get better quicker without the symptoms hampering life, I went to the doc and got the next 2 days off work, I figured it would be just my luck that we would be working outside in the cold and I'd end up with pneumonia, now that would really suck

Oh well, I'm tired again, I have to take the clothes off the line before the dew sets in an then its back to bed for this little duck

oops I did it again

Ok so last time it wasn't me honest but this time it was, I caught the grill on fire stupid me made really healthy cheese and tomato on multi grain toast for breakfast then shut the grill and walked away, I looked up from my breakfast in front of the TV to see smoke "Oh shit" (I have been swearing a lot lately, gotta get out of that habit) ran into the kitchen to see flames coming out of the top of the stove Oh no I instantly though wet towel will put the flames out so I threw some in the sink then the boy came in ad yelled "Belinda that's a fat fire" he went out to the shed and grabbed the fire blankets and the extinguisher, the blankets did nothing so out with the extinguisher "is this alright for fat?", " I dunno whats in it?" then I saw the white stripe (powder good for almost every fire imaginable) "yep go for it" and I opened the grill shhhhhhhhh goes the extinguisher and everything goes black.
I went outside to get way from the smoke until the boy was yelling at me again to shut the smoke alarms up I got the one in the lounge room but the one in the hallway is way to high for me to reach and there was an awful lot of smoke up near the roof, not a healthy place for me to be so I left it.
I have spent all day scrubbing the stove and the oven and the bench tops and the floor I'm tired and hungry I SMS'd the boy to get me a kebab on the way home but he didn't check his phone so we have ordered Dominoes pizza for dinner, he said he's eaten too much today but might have a slice or two I haven't eaten since cheese on toast so I'll probably fit a whole one in

poor woofa

poor Champy has a nasty rash on his paws we took them to the vet today girly got her vaccine and champy got cortisone, antibiotics and mange injections, next week if the rash clears up he gets his vaccine

We didn't end up going to the pie sale last week and we didn't go to nans until Sunday, we had a nice lazy day.

Tomorrow is mothers day, I have decided that I will give mum a Pizza stone since I bought myself 2 and it is unlikely that we Will use both at the same time, I was going to get a pasta machine because her's is almost broken, I think I will get one while they are on sale and keep it for her birthday if I remember to give it to here that is

new plan is to try and plan some menus for the week, I bought myself some more rock 'n 'serves the big 800ml flat round ones I would like to make dinner and put it in those and freeze them so I can take them to work rather than spending so much money on either junk or lean cuisine type meals I also need to learn to cook more things I get bored with plain old meat and veggies
I want to be able to do mums fried rice and marinated chicken or fancy sounding pasta dishes that are really simple to make

Trying not to sleep........

Is very hard when you are very tired.

So Why am I trying not to sleep well mostly because if I sleep now I wont sleep later and because I have to go and pick up the boy later hopefully he dosen't work too late tomorrow morning he wants to go to the sargents factory seconds sale ........ yep they have factory seconds in pies all of the ones that are missing some of the sargents badge or just aren't shaped right....... at 530 in the morning the sale dosen't start till 730 but mum and dads place is just around the corner from the factory and I know that the line up starts well before then.

Hoping not to offend anyone here but there are an awefull lot of minibusses loaded with islanders when we have gone past in the past, there is a limit to something like 3 boxes per person/family, I have heard some people give their kids the money and every member of the family gets the limit which is a bit sad because I can't imagine anyone needing 12+ cartons of pies considering the sale is on once a month no wonder there are so many very overweight people around.

Oh I should say the best thing about living near a pie factory is when you are riding to school to the smells of fresh baked pies comming down the street almost as good as driving past the arnots factory on the freeway when they are making chocolate Tiny Teddys or Iced vovos

I got the bits for the bike today went out earlier to fit the new coil at least ...............grrrr requires a security bit to remove the old one, oh well I put the ohm meter on both and compared the readings the old one is definatley on its way out so at least I didn't waste $300 now hopefully that will fix the problem for good and soon we will get the boy's bike back and I can convince him that it would be stupid to sell it after only 4 months and an extra $3000 on top of the purchase price he'd loose around $8000 which isn't play money any more the old bikes he would get to replace it will cost alot more time and money to keep running and thats providing they have been well looked after, modified for modern reliability and ridden regularly before he buys them, once we sort the bugs out on my bike and get his back they should stay reliable with very little time needing to be spent on them, perhaps one weekend a month at the most, Oh well we will see what happens.

Have I mentioned ....................

I Hate Nightshift

1st noght the stupid security guard wouldn't let me in the gate because my vehicle Identification wasn't in the window (Man I can't wait untill I get my bike back)

**I found it the next day on the tallboy where I'd put it so that I could hand it in after we sold the car, unfortunatley the car is needed right now, the boy's bike has major problems and despite the ammount of money they are going to make out of it they are still treating it like someones toy rather than their only mode of transport and it has been pushed to the back of the que in favour of the regular customers who are more than likely getting their bike serviced ready for garaging during the cooler months and can do without them for a few week quite comfortabley, they only ordered the parts last week and it is going to take 2 weeks for them arrive they could have ordered the parts straight away and had then done the other work grrrrrrr***

because I had allowed for a 5 min walk from the carpark to the sign on office I was now running late, of course, and I thought that the really strict clerk was on so I'd be likley to lose 15 min for being 5 mins late, any way I ran........ I shouldn't run I know that..... then I tripped and fell........ I have discovered that I now bruise very easily I have two very sore thigh muscles and a sore wrist, I hope I haven't done anything major to my wrist it seem to be getting a little better but still hurt to turn my hand (another thing that happens much more often than you think about)
O got up and kept going at at much more sedate pace then spent the next hour or so trying to catch my breath..... I really shouldn't run.

the rest of the week has been fairly uneventful. We have come to the decision that rather than a small car we will be looking for a dual cab Ute which will be almost as use full as the single cab but much less tray space and you can fit a baby seat to it apparently.

I am getting a little frustrated in my research, I have found a midwife (the one mentioned earlier has found herself an assistant we meet on the 1st of June) but still, reading various bits of information one thing really stands out to me,

it is expected that everyone owns a car...... this one really bothers me, "the hospital will not let you leave unless you have an appropriate child restraint fitted to your car"

in other topics like birth options and prams/strollers alternatives are briefly mentioned but this one there is no alternative offered in any info I have found,

would it hurt to mention that if you do not have a car you will need to request that the taxi is fitted or something like that or in the case of many people I have seen at one of the the local hospitals walking to the station, the train station is only 500mtrs away perhaps people are planning on taking a walk to the station no cars involved at all but there is no mention of what happens in that situation do they make sure your pram is appropriate before you leave?

anyway that is enough Of my whinging, I have started to feel off a lot more lately, bread is my best friend it makes me stop feeling sick, cold dairy snack do two, I know that its not overly great nutritionally but if works for now, I'll have to start looking into eating real foods again soon and making the time to make food

ANZAC DAY

While many people awoke in the early hours of this morning to go to dawn services, or the city march, we slept and slept and slept, very sad I know.

anzac day is the rememberance and aniversary of the day that the Australian an New Zealand Army Corps hit the beaches at galipolli in the wrong spot, many died and after a few months they were forced to retreat, I have seen a movie which shows them making the retreat using rifles rigged up with a container and a dripping bucket above it so that they fired at different times ands the turks would think that they were still there, very clever.

watching alot of war movies today I am surprised at the fact that the old 1050's films show the men showing such affection to each other, I think one was the desert rats of tabrook (spelling?) one of the men started going off at his superior out in the feild and two men jumped on hime holding him dow and tipped some water over his head, after he calmed down the superior who was stroking his head Like you would to comfort anyone who is upset, asked him if he was ok befor they let him up again

Happy Birthday Dad

Ok so it's last years pic and his birthday was yesterday but I remembered and today I got arround to visiting, no roosters this year a chivas regal gift pack instead wich turned out to be really good because all of his old whisky glasses have been broken so now he has two new ones , I'll have to remember that little fact about the glasses for when we get closer to fathers day

I'm very proud of me

I got my info pack last night, the lady I had e-mailed had suggested a few names which were on the list of phone numbers included I rang the one who would be closest to me, she is new to the whole homebirth thing but has been working in hospitals for a while, she said she is going to a covention or some such thing tomorrow and is hoping to find someone to help her which of course will be the deciding factor as to weather she gets into the feild or not so hopefully she finds herself a mentor/ second opinion giver, it dosen't bother me that she has not worked outdside of hospitals she will probably have a few people to contact if she is unsure of something , the other suggestion lives almost an hour away

anyway I am happy that I have rung

also blood tests came back today

yep ...... now what

well I went to the doc finally and she confirmed I am 5.5 week pregnant... wow typing that sorta makes it real doesn't it .......... then she talked very quickly about tests for this and tests for that and which hospital do I want to go to, she was unimpressed when I said I don't particularly want to go to hospital "well where are you planning on having it then" was the very sharp short reply, I was hoping she would give me a list of options but no, I have done alot of reaserch over the past month or so Idealy I'd like to stay home....... call me crazy but I do live within 10 mins of 2 hospitals ....... the other option I had seen was midwife run centers which are attached to hospitals but no docs involved unless needed. to make it simple for everyone fairly healthy women have been having babies long before doctors were even invented obviously with varying experiances but still there shouldn't be a requirement for a healthy woman to go to hospital which in this country unfortunatley it seems there is (indpendant midwives are not covered by medicare) another reason is that the hospital I would most likley be going to a friend got hepititis when she went there to have her baby and more recently a lady died after a Ceasearien because she wasn't monitored properly after ther surgery..... she didn't even get to see her child.... the other one has lost at least one baby's body so probably not so bad. on top of all of that I really don't like going to doctors or hospitals if I can really help it.

I have contacted a midwife who is sending me an infor mation pack so we will see where we go from there

the christening

I'm hoping I don't offend too many people with this one

today was J's christening, it was so hypocritical.

I sat at the back of the church, listening to the priest who obviously beleived very much in what he was saying and enjoyed explaining it all to others, which is always good rather than the old boring church service where you have to sit still, be quiet and try to stay awake while passage after passage is read from the bible.

Any way the hypocritical bit was when the parents and godparents had to speak on behalf of the child (in this case J) that isn't a problem if you know that they go to church most sundays and beleive in what they are saying, but all 4 of them hardly ever go to church which is actually the reason that j was christened so old (he is almost 2) it took them that long to find someone to christen the child of people that do not attend the church which I beleive is exactly what should happen.

I feel that they basicly lied to a priest in a church which is just not done I promised to raise him in the way of the church and teach him about god etc and on his behalf denied the devil acces or some thing like that but that is the first time in years that any of them have been to church it is all a thing that is done because of fashion, thats all I can see of it anyway.

no I haven't got to the Doc yet I might go tomorrow on my way home from getting the bike registered,

what a weekend

we finally took the boat out for a decent sail........ 4 hours to be exact ..................... my grandmother has a holiday house at nelson bay, we have been going there well since grandma was a little girl, its right across the road from the beach if you lay on the bed in the front room you hear the waves rolling in and feel like you have to lift your feet for the street sweeper to go past
this weekend we camped in the backyard I got up bright and early with mum for a nice 6am swim then the boy came out with some of the bits for the boat which we had put on the beach when we arrived so it was ready to go. mum suggested that we go for a quick sail before breakfast off we went me thinking we'd say close to the beach for around half an hour and have breakfast then go out again.................. we kept going and going three or four beaches along the boy said lets turn around here........... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHA........... we tried then we started going backwards eventually he let me steer and I got us out to the middle of the harbour where the sand bars are with big waves, which was pretty fun then we had to try and get back to the beach lots of fun doing that, a nice man on a kayak gave us some pointers and we were off again we eventually got back to breakfast at 1200 mum had been worried about us and driven around all of the local beaches looking for us, we arrived back just as they did
we didn't go out again but dad and DLB went out for a bit they had fun, we drove home on Monday morning, very tiring, apparently nelson bay is 2.5 hrs from Sydney, I am yet to do the trip in less than 3 which is probably a good thing considering the road toll which is generally related to people driving further than they normally do in one go,
*******************seriously people nothing is better than pulling into a driver reviver for a cuppa and a bickie and a stretch, the beach will still be there if you get there half an hour later, the room/spot you booked will still be vacant , the family will be much happier having stopped and had a run around, trust me while I was growing up, dad went from the have to get there now style to the stop revive survive style it made the trip much more enjoyable, especially since we often did it leaving home at 11 at night or 4 in the morning************************

on another note, I'm 4 days "Late" and have 2 lines, :-) guess I'd better visit a DR sometime soon,
I'm a little disappointed,
I haven't been able to use my new cloth pads but I did use the pantie liner and found it very comfortable, I guess because its cotton feels like cotton undies.
I was expecting to be sick and a whole lot of other things, I do have tender boobs, don't hug too tight, how do you explain that one to a family member, and I'm really tired and moody, recovering from night shift , and I haven't had a good wee for what seems like ages(you know the one where you are absolutely busting, and you get to completely empty your bladder really quickly) OK so that may be in the TMI category.
as for mentioning anything to anyone........ My cousin said once with the wokness monster you cant tell everyone until its in,in and well and truly stuck to the side, or something like that,

I think after I see the DR I might mention it to mum, but she doesn't want grandies so I also might wait until people ask questions about why I never drink anymore and why I don't drink so much coffee although that doesn't provide for much support really does it we'll see, we, the boy and I, are not babies people, we just feel that now is a good time so it will probably be a shock to a lot of people until then life goes on, those who read this will be my secret keepers for now..................

easter and the loooooong weekend

welll its that time of year again, so much chocolate so much temptation.................. well that is for some, I love the odd cadbury cream egg and red tulip bunnies but I have sort of gone off chocolate , we have choc chip easter buns.................. some one rang the radio whinging about the shops calling them easter buns it think its appropriate because they don't sell them hot anymore so they can't be called hot crossed buns.......................... they use dark chocolate chips, which I really like, I must be getting old, I like dark chocolate.
We are having pizza tomorrow night, the boy likes to make extra effort to go against the tradition of fish on good friday so home made meat lovers pizza it is, I'm planning to make the bases as well, with one of the recipies from a year in bread hopefully they will work out ok, despit my lacking a pizza stone, if they turn out ok I'll buy one
I'm happy that this year I will have 5 days off thats almost a whole weeknice I have no Idea what I'll do but I think it may have a bit to do with getting my routines back in order

Blah

wow two posts in one day look out thing might be happening again...............

I'm getting really descriptive about my titles at the moment hahahahahahahahahaha

during my very short nap, the parcel man arrived and delivered my lundry powder tin and my soaking bucket, which I didn't realise at the time are retro kitchen not just the type you get from spotlight so I am really happy about that, I am also turning green, earth friendly type green not the colour, I found out about re-useable sanitry supplies, so I will be testing some out, I currently have enough to last me 2 days which should be long enough to get the idea of wether I like them or not, that is providing that that is the reason I have had sore nipples for the last week or so, that is definatley one thing that is driving me crazy, they range from just tender to touch to take my top off and get me an ice pack, was really bad tonight when the job I was doing required laying on my chest while pulling big cables through the holes the belong in, they were bloody stubborn cables , I will have some lovley bruises tomorrow, there may well be a good pic to go with that

oh well thats me for tonight bed is calling

ho hum

I was trying to pick this up again hahahahahaha obviously a bit slow in actually doing, I really want a laptop so I can get out of this silly cupboard.
I'm certain with the advances in laptops soon no house will have a specific computer room especially houses like mine, our use of the space could probably be better but that's not going to happen . the dogs pulled out the Internet connection twice this week, so I was not happy about laying on my back under the house, connecting little phone line wires.
One day I will move the modem to the front of the house and get rid of all of the other phone lines that are under the house we don't need them we have cordless phones the main one is a quad pack 3 in the house and 1 in the shed then we have the VOIP phones, in a three pack, throughout the house, we only use those to ring out its too much trouble changing numbers and the VOIP that we have at the moment is really temperamental.
The boy would have given up long ago, I just keep resetting it, keep rese-ting, keep rese-ting hmm doesn't quite work in text ....... think nemo and dory sad I know, me and my kids movies, seriously I love the animation all of the things they can do these days amazes me, I like to buy the special edition DVDs because they have the how it was made on them

and I thought I'd have nothing to type we got calendar girl's (new house member) wardrobe yesterday I have decided that when I get old and grumpy and don't want to so much any more I'm going into furniture assembly, I love it, its like a big jigsaw puzzle in 3D and at the end its something useful, watching mum and dad trying to put anything together is a nightmare, they usually call for help, I really don't get what is so hard about it but then there are a few girls I know who will call daddy to put things together too so it must be really confusing, I really like the ones that come with instructions in another language or that are poorly interpreted, it ads to the fun

me I feel like Ive been hit by a bus maybe its that flu shot kicking in, but I woke up this morning went to the loo and straight back to bed, I probably should see about that but it s also likely to be related to lack of sleep or too many pillows too, I am thinking about trying the new chiropractor down the road I'm also deciding, since I need it for tax purposes weather to go fully featured health insurance for $1000s a year or just basic hospital for around $80, I'm hoping they change the thresholds this year or next then I can go back to not worrying and keep my savings for medical needs and just have ambulance cover like I always have, I hate the Idea of paying for something I may not want or need or for some one else to use but with us both on motorcycles, I reckon there's a chance of a chopper ride and I imagine that would be very expensive thus the ambulance cover

I'm watching the Ute ATM its on e-bay lots of looks 7 watchers but no bids....... grrrrrrr it finishes at around lunch time I'm thinking a nap until then will do me good

I need sleep

I hate nightshift................ all I want to do is sleep not this stupid broken, 4hrs here and 4hrs there sleep, a good quality sleep where

• no phones ring
• no parcels arrive
• no opening and closing doors,
• no noisey Mo-bikes

...........................I can't wait till tomorrow night I'm going to bomb the house tomorrow at around lunchtime, which is when I'll be going out for a decent ammount of time, there is a fundraiser on near work for one of the sign on clerks, he got cancer in his jaw, found out in feb, been off work since, lots of donations for him and his family and now a bit of a do I hope he is not off for too long, he came to visit a few weeks ago and apart from a lot of swelling in his face he looked pretty good

The boy has requested that I don't do night shift again, I will try but sometimes you just get stuck with shifts you don't want which is what happened this week oh well

I suppose I'll be off to work now .... last night yaaaaaaaaaay

a failed mission and a sleepy day

well, we failed to get a wardrobe, all of the places we went looking at shut at or a little after lunchtime, along with that, the boy yet again loaded me up with and impossible amount of doing things.
He seems to forget that there are only 24 hrs in a day 8 of which are required for resting and 2 or 3 for preparing and eating, but then he doesn't eat often or rest very much so it doesn't matter to him.

Any way,
he wanted me to help his nan pick up a table and chairs set he had already told nan that I would do it, nan lives at least 30mins drive away we woke up at half past 9 I got there at almost 11, picked up table and chairs got back to nans at around 12 (aka lunchtime) left there got to mumand dads at 1245, Little bro was cooking pastizzis so we ate them, and got to the salvos at around 1340 they close at 1345 grrr vinnies at penrith close at 12 grrrrr so I'll go looking in the morning after work hopefully I'll find something suitable, If not I'll be looking at the cheap furniture places but I doubt those ones will hold enough clothing with out breaking

I also had to find time to vote in there somewhere, I ended up going at 1730 which was great because there were no lines and I wasn't sure which electorate I am in

today is a sleepy day, I'm getting ready for night shift hoping to sleep enough today that I won't get too tired tonight then have a really good sleep tomorrow afternoon

yet another exciting adventure

well, umm two or was it three days ago, My DLB, Darling Little Bro, sent me a message, his Gf had had a fight with her mum and needed someplace to go because the place she went to wasn't all that safe, a quick discussion with the boy and bang we now have a border , which is nice, but it makes life a little different, no more running around the house nakey, no more quick dashes to the bathroom, no more door open when sleeping, but other than that all is good, she is hardly here, she works 12 hr days in the city and doesn't eat very much , tomorrow I am on a mission to find a wardrobe, poor girl is still living out of shopping bags and we can't have that,

hoping to find a nice old one with a mirror on it and some drawers

Oh and I must not forget to vote tomorrow, I have to take the boy's nan to vote so I'm hoping I can absentee vote there otherwise I will have to go to 2 polling places, I knew I should have taken up that postal vote offer that they sent out I will have to do that next time, The Boy isn't registered so he doesn't have to , that is until they catch up with him and fine him $100s, I'm hoping that they don't catch up with him, he claims he will register when big issues are decided by referendum and it is no longer compulsory to vote

and life goes on

I'm tired I was working lots of OT in order to pay off the ute, new plan, we are selling the ute hopefully for a fair bit more than I owe on it then I'll get some back anyway because some of the loan is the cost of loan insurance, I hope it sells soon after I advertise.
Aparently I have to write to the bank for a bill of sale before selling it, I was hoping to be able to do it over the phone, they will also want a reason for me wanting to sell, especially since we are not buying a replacement the boy will help me with this tomorrow.
I still think it's crazy to do all of this just because we might have a child at the end of the year or early next year but it makes him happy and we aren't using the Ute atm anyway because we are both riding everywhere, but then there are the people who had to spend 6 months in bed/hospital due to sickness or something like that so it probably is not such a silly way of thinking I foun a quote I like I'll put it in my discription line it is

PLAN AHEAD It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark

It sorta reminds me of the way the boy thinks which is probably a good thing. the next few things that are on the list apart from moving the computer and re-aranging the wardrobe are all too specific to be worried about right now

the weight loss thing is working alot better now that I don't have th problem of the pills, (yes I know excuses excuses) weight gain is a side effect, I'm thinking I might stay off them, I have changed my diet yet again I am now only drinking shakes for breakfast untill I run out, Jen you were right losing weight quickly is inspiring but not eating real food and losing too quickly made me extra tired, so I am working on the whole portions and good food thing I eat only untill I feel comfortable, it is hard to teach myself that I don't have to eat the whole plate, the boy has been more supportive too, he asks me about halfway though dinner if I am full and do I really need to eat the rest which is a great help, I am now below the 73kg mark for the first time in ages which I'm very pleased with

well tis now well and truly bedtime for me, Merlot I'm working on updating more often I'm dissapointed I have let my updates get so far apart

now what happens if you don't take the yellow ones?

one of my deep dark thoughts which has been keeping me away from here,

after the weekend the boy did the affectionate things that boys do (Ok so he laid on top of me and nibbled an ear TMI?)
I told him I'd missed a magic pill so I had better take it before we start thinking like that, he replied that that's up to me.............. hmmmmm .................. so I quizzed him on it turns out that Like me he is starting to worry about getting too old to have/enjoy children and would like to get married and have babies ........... not necessarily in that order but soon ................ SO I didn't take it....................

now back to the question.................. what happens when you don't take the yellow ones. For those with no Idea the packet has many yellow pills and 7 or so white ones, the white ones are the ones that you take at TTOM they are pretty much just sugar. anyway the answer.................. stop taking the yellow ones and TTOM happens no matter when you stop. prolly should have checked that one out before I did it, oh well will see how we go.

The boy is insisting that we must start buying things now he is such a worry wort......... this means he wants the Ute sold in the next couple of weeks and a small 4-5 door car bought, OK so I want a smaller car due to cheaper rego he just wants something that a baby seat can be fitted to.............................. then various essential items bought, like child restraint and bassinet , then while we are there we may as well look at the other necessities like nappies. he mentioned something about my ability to procrastinate until its almost too late so while I was planning to do as much OT as possible to pay off the Ute, that loan will more than likely be halved now making it much easier to pay off then OT will go towards other things.

then there was the whole getting married bit, which I mentioned to mum and dad, we(the boy and I) have always discussed simple , nice park, immediate family only, mum and dad had the guest list to 34 without the boys extended family very quickly, they also offered to help out with up to $3000 so how do you tell them to keep things very small, I am aware some people spend in the 10s of thousands so 3 is very small but I was thinking around 16 people. I knew there was a reason people eloped, I'm thinking it's a pretty good Idea

ooh

Wow 10 days since my lat post, I have many excuses but none of them really fit, except maybe the too tired ones and then theres the been thinking too much to type one then theres work but I have been on dayshift so no excuses there .

Anyway the weekend of my auntys party was great, I got a little sunburnt I suppose thats to be expected at a garden party in the mountains, I think every one was expecting low 20s or high teens try low 30s grrr was a very nice day, mum and her friends got very drunk, after the boy and I left she got even more drunk and told of my cousins partner who is very nice but only comes to big important family events which I think is good better than (now here is a long discription) my cousins aunty's husband who untill last weekend we haven't seen for 2 years and is very rarely at home due to work commitments (it is beleived that his work is very suss)

for a change rather than camping in the paddock we stayed at the jenolan caravan park in a cabin which was really great firstly because its nice to get away from the restriction and expectations of the extended family(they want everyone to join in all the time) my cousin told them this when we mentioned that we were leaving she was right it is nice for young couples to get away for some time on their own when it comes to these things I'm sure here partner would have dragged her away if he could, trhe boy found a take away and a bottle shop still open in oberon, I was suprised small country towns normaly close down at 12 noon on weekends he had chips and potato scollops and a beer then started to fall sleep, the poor boy spilled his beer when he fell asleep.

It was nice to ride with him again after soo long , I learn alot by following him on the way back we just missed the rain, then later in the day we got those awesome thunderstorms and lots of rain, its been like summer used to be latley, warm sunny days with not a cloud in the sky then and evening storm out of nowhere, brilliant !

Happy Birthday to the boy

yep its his birthday, 32 today hahahaha that's like really old :-P I made a cake, it wobbled in the middle when I pulled it out so I put it back in for another 10 mins , the boy liked the decoration, he even suggested other options like stencils and icing sugar

I have to work on the piping thing , I think I made the icing too runny

I got him 2 pair of shorts, 2 t- shirts, a 5 pack of undies and and garage roller stool with a tool tray underneath, puts him at the right height to work on bikes

I gave in to a piece of cake, sorta wishing I hadn't cause I don't feel very well after that I won't have any more save extra treats for aunty's party on the weekend

still around

yep I'm still here, the boy went to his brothers place last nigh, It was his brothers birthday on thursday, he stayed the night its very lonley when you are on your own at night hasn't happened to me for almost 5 years I supposeI should get used to these things he has his independance back and isn't going to waste it just because I have to work, he sent me a message last night I'm guessing he was going to bed trhats always nice, I din't want to be sending messages all night to him since he is supposed to be enjoying some time with his brother.

as for the new diet , last week I lost 2.2 which is pretty normal for the first week of a new plan thanks to the increased consiousness to drink water they really stress that you must have a minimum of 2 ltrs because of how the diet works the kidneys need flushing or some thing like that I'm averaging 3 still don't like the reduced carb thing but the losses are very motivating I might stick with it for another couple of months and see, oh this week was 1.6, I'm expecting to average 1kg a week for the next few, I'd prefer not to be losing too fast the whole time, I estemate 3 months should get me closer to goal than ever before then its up to me to learn eating and cooking fresh and healthy, probably usuing the principals learnt on core and some help from calorie king

it works.........................

Shhhhhhh............................ I finally got sick of waiting for the stupid tool, and did a bit of a dodgey job, I cut a slot in the screw and then made a screwdriver short enough to fit in the space and after alot of miserable face pulling and groaning I got it to do what I wanted, and got the bike started YaaaaaaaaaaaaHooooooooo I took her for a quick trip around the Very big block which covers three or four suburbs :-D and got some fuel since the boy decided to mention that he had been stealing fuel out of my tank after I tried starting it the first time grrrrr last time I used her she was almost empty the plan was to over haul the carbys and go get some fuel in a few weeks at the most a month welll four months later she now has a full tank :-)

I also have a little confession, I have never liked to refer to food as carbs and protien because then you stop thinking human and looking at food as umm but you start thinking how many carbs are in that how much protien etc
The boy had a talk to me after watching me do well on WW only to put it all back on over Xmas, he suggested I try one of those Liquid Protien based diets so I looked at them and picked the Tony Ferguson one because
A) it is Low calorie rather than Very Low calorie
B) it is low carb not no carb but they have a higher amount than other such diets
I'm trying it out for a month I started on wednesday it's driving me mad I want a sandwich, I want a bowl of Weet-Bix grrrrrrrrrrr he is just starting to realise what he convinced me to do
he read the list of food to avoid, bread, peas, corn etc etc, Jeez what can you eat? he says, I reply shakes, diet jelly, meat and lots of vegies, and fruit. he brought me a beer to have with dinner tonight, which is very sweet but No Beer, unless its pure blonde or something similar. he tried c'mon it won hurt what you are doing, but it will and if I'm going to pay the money for it I'm going to do it right the only night/s I am going do otherwise are aunties party the boys b'day and my bros b'day that is if I last that long
if nothing else it will give me the kick start I need and get me motivated again

Dear sweet parcelman

I miss you, you haven't visited in a long time, perhaps I should have given you a jar of ginger bread like I gave gummibear but I didn't make enough.

I miss getting up in the morning to find a package on the doorstep or laying in bead and hearing DING-DONG because you either have a lot of parcels to give me or you want my autograph again then rushing around to find something to answer the door in.

Even a little red card would be nice but a parcel would be much better.

love Belinda

another not quite so interesting day

that's because I dozed all day, after getting up feeling like I'd been hit by a truck that is, I don't know why but some mornings I wake up barely able to move just like I've got a flu but without the coughing, sniffling and watery eyes, go back to bed and wake up again feeling much better.

yesterday or was that the day before I cleaned out the hanging rack of my wardrobe today, I finally reached the end of the washing pile and have a few more things to throw out or donate plus a heap of stuff that came out of the shelves and drawers, I found my old journal, I've only written about 20 pages in it most of it is about the boy and how I felt about him when we had only been together for a few months there is a big lump of time missing a while before and after I moved in with him the last two pages are only a few weeks after he lost his licence, he has this belief that mum was trying to pull us apart but the last two pages show a very different story, one line says...... "I wish I knew what to do and how to do it or even who to talk to, I feel more alone than ever"......... I am considering showing the boy these two pages but I think I'll just throw the whole thing out it make me too sad to have it around

I'm glad that stage in our life is over, even though his bike is off the road and he still can't take himself places (except by bicycle)he is a lot happier and much less stressed the drinking thing still needs work though

I got my part today, still waiting on the tool may need to write another letter to the parcel man last time the thing I was waiting for turned up very shortly after

wow wednesday already

hmmm where did all of those days go........
I ordered a new part today because the boys mate also broke his trying to get it off, I'm thinking poor design there, plastic piece attached to a metal bit in a very hot location (the metal bit has hot oil running through it) the plastic bit seems to get very brittle, hopefully I will get this bit and the tool I have been waiting for on Friday, that would be all of my dreams come true, I'm seriously missing the beast thumping away under me (I would say between my legs but that could come out badly)

I have decide that this will be my last year in my motorcycle club, there are just too many boys involved which is sad because they do a lot for women's riding in Sydney...... where did I get this from, well I pulled up one of the boys for using the word constable in an inappropriate way(deliberate misspelling) and requesting that he not send so many about what the police do wrong to the yahoo group, and got a flood of emails all from men who basically told me to pull my head in, I will now be looking for girls motorcycle groups where while male partners may be accepted to come along on a few day rides for company, but they are not accepted as full members, there was a ride with a different group the boy went with me on until he felt that I was comfortable with these ladies, they all thought this was very sweet that he is protective and caring they had all been riding together for a few years so knew each other pretty well.

It's the boys birthday soon he has requested one of those shed work stools on wheels with the tray underneath for tools or some new T-shirts, singlets and "undies that fit" I'm hoping to find a stool and add a couple of T-shirts, a few singlets and a 7 pack of undies, its the only time he will let me pay for these sorts of things so I'd like to take the opportunity, he also hates birthdays, I get the feeling with his family not being all that well off these times were not all that pleasant. he is very angry that his parents didn't stop at two or three, I think someone wanted a girl who was #4, he views each sibling as more food that could have been in his mouth and fun that could have been in his life, remember he helped raise his siblings and started cooking for the family at 9 so I suppose he has a right to feel this way

I'm off to have a look at my wardrobe, my new clothes have recently highlighted the fact that I really have nothing that is fit to be seen in, most of my clothing is faded or stretched or bleached oddly, which is odd because I don't use bleach unless it went into a wash which required napisan for stain purposes, probably slipped in with my work clothes. anyway I need to sort out the stuff that I keep pulling out and deciding that its not appropriate and putting back, I shouldn't have so many clothes if I'm not going to wear them, my old lady trolley is starting to get full with all of the clothing I have recently decided I won't wear again

yesterday again

this is the boy's new helmet and goggles, yep I took a pic of myself, I'll get confidence to be in front of the camera yet :-), yesterday we found out that the little beast has major problems, hoping to work these out pretty soon so that he dosen't have to be on a bicycle for the next few weeks, I think it may be the head gasket again I might check it tomorrow if I can manage to start getting the house back in order again

new clothes....

I couldn't be bothered doing htis last night, so ................

this is my new outfit, I'm a cheerful little thing aren't I
this is my party outfit yet again cheerfull me, this is why I like to be on the otherside of the camera as much as possible

as for the biy, he passed his test only lost 3 points for not looking left and right before taking off, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, I went for a walk around the rowing lake, the testing place is in the carpark of the olympic rowing centre, I didn't reaaluse that the lake is 2000mtrs long, so i walked 4.1k in my sandles not a good idea, I now have a big rub mark on the top of my foot which hurts no matter which shopes I wear

well......

he booked in for his test today ..... tomorrow 430.....gee I hope he passes, I'm so tired of always being tired because I'm always giving him lifts to and from work I'm tired of the winging and complaining, I'm tired of the regular trips ti ashfeild to get more bits, I'm tired of never going for picnic anymore, because he feels like a retard going everywhere in the car I'm tired of theat last comment every time we are going somewhere that he dosen't want to go

on the other hand... I'll be going to family stuff on my own, prolly spending some weekends alone, mostly because I don't particularly like the Idea of going away with his mate who dosen't understand no thank you I don't feel like a drink and beleives 8 am is a reasonable drinking hour, which it is but only if you have not been to bed yet or you are having some bubbly in orange juice.

I broke a bit on my bike today, not happy.... I have to see above mentioned mate for replacement since his bike which has the same engine as mine is about to be written of, thats 2 in the last 3 years, some people just shouldn't ride, or they have more money than sense, hoping to have the requied tool to get my bike up and running next week, It's driving me mad, although I don't beleive it is prime riding weather, its a little too hot for me its still driving me mad, all of the things I could be doing or going to itsw almost 4 months now, I hope she starts when I do get thigs back together, it will definitley be a case of blowing the cobwebs out (a term usually used by us for a good fast freeway run after alot of short trips) this time

when shopping with mum and dad tonight, found two nice autumnish outfits, one for aunty's party and another one because I put it on, looked in the mirror and said "wow", if I get that feeling I usually buy the thing I'm trying on, I am unimpressed with protmans sizing though, the skirt and top I bought from rockmans was a size 12 and a small, skirt from portmans, size 16 and M top, seriously how can there be that much difference, I can understand a 1 size difference but 2 mum laughed when I picked the skirt up of the rack and said thats a 16 "yeah right, whatever you reckon," mum has just started to get back into the 18's which is good, but I was pretty dissapointed in all of the big womens clothing shops, why is it that big womens clothes have no shape, surely even the more curvy of us could use a little shape in your clothing so that at least you look like you have a waist, nope shelves and shelves full of tents, one shop even sold shoulder pads, show me one size 16-26+ woman who requires shoulder pads, I haven't seen any and all I could inagine them doing is making you apear even larger
we may be taking another shopping trip on the weekend since mum couldn't find what she wanted
I post some pic tomorrow, I'm too tired to be bothered right now